Madhavi

Main apne mata pita ki eklauti aulad tha. Shaadi ke kariban 15 saal baad mera janam hua, isliye meri parvarish bahut hi lad-pyar se hui. Waise toh hum middle class ko belong karte they par fir bhi Ghar mein kisi cheez ki kami nahi thi. Mera bachpan bilkul rajsi tha, eklauta hone ke ye fayede hote hi hain aur main toh fir shaadi ke itne saal baad paida hua tha. Kisi bhi cheez mein sochne bhar ki der thi aur woh saamne hoti thi. Kab schooling hui, college hua pata hi nahi chala. Padhne main zahin tha isliye jald hi ek achchi sarkaari naukri bhi mil gayi. 

Din ke samay office mein aur shaam ka samay doston mein bitata tha. Dheere-dheere dost kam hone lage kuch ko naukri ke silsile mein doosre shahar jana pada, kuch ki shaadi ho gayi aur woh apni shaadi shuda zindagi mein busy ho gaye. Kuch ko private multinational company main job mil gayi toh woh der raat tak office mein hi busy rahne lage. Ab mera boriyat ka samay shuru ho gaya. Govt job hone ki wajah se  shaam hote hi ghar pahunch jata tha. Ab mujhe akelaapan sataane laga.

Waise toh main maa-babuje se bahut pyar karta tha par  maa-babuji mein aur mujh mein do generation ka gap tha. Isliye hamaari soch ka milna waise bhi possible nahi tha. Par fir bhi ek baat ka sahara hota tha ki kam se kam ghar par koi toh hai aur main bhi apna baaki ka bacha hua samay unke saath bitaataa tha. Par kismet ko shayad kuch aur hi manzoor tha. Maa-babuji ka ek accident mein swargwas ho gaya aur main akela rah gaya.  Unke jaane ke baad mujhe pata chala ki main unse kitna pyar karta tha. Aur fir kabhi-kabhi apne aap ko kosta tha ki maine kyon nahi aur samay unke saath bitaya.

Samay ke iss kutharaghat se main bilkul toot gaya tha . Kuch dino toh rishtedaaron ne saath diya par woh bhi kab tak apna ghar baar chod kar mere saath rahte. Ab mujhe ghar ke kaamo mein bhi badi muskil hone lagi. Chai banana aur ande ubaalne ke allawa mujhe kuch nahi aata tha. Aise samay mein papa ki baat yaad aaya karti thi. Woh kahte they ki beta thoda bahut kitchen ka kaam bhi seekh lo. Jab hum ghar par nahi hote toh hamein kam se kam iss baat ka toh sukun rahega ki  tum bhookhe nahi ho. Par tab unki baat ek kaan se suni aur doosre kaan se nikal di. Aaj pachta raha hoon ki kash unki baat maan li hoti. 

Halanki meri umar zyada nahi thi, par fir bhi maa kahati thi ki beta bahu le aao. Kab tak main rasoi mein padi rahungi. Tera bhi mann bahal jaayega aur mujhe bhi kitchen se chutti mil jaayegi. Agar maa ki woh  baat maan li hoti toh aaj na to akelapan satata aur na hi kitchen ka gam. Khair pados ki aunties ki wajah se khichadi banana seekh liya jiski wajah se mujhe bhuke pate nahi sona padta tha.

Aise main ek din meri postin south India ke ek chote se kasbe Kunnoor mein ho gayi. Meri job transferable hai. Isliye transfer refuse nahi kar sakte. Fir yahan koi tha bhi nahi     jiske liye rukta isliye chal pada. Ab zindagi kismet ke hawale kar di jahan lekar chalti hai chal pada. Shuru ke ek hafte toh office ke guest house mein guzara, fir office ke  ek colleague ki madad maangi ki kahin kiraaye ke ghar ka bandobast kar de. Chota kasba hone ki karan kiraaye ke makaan ka wahaan chalan nahi tha.

Sabke apne makaan they. Kasba bahut chota tha isliye jobs ke bahut zyada scope nahi they. Isliye outsiders bhi nahi they. Khair kaafi dhundhne par ek makaan mil gaya. Ghar kaafi bada tha mujhe chat par ek bada sa kamra aur ek kitchen de diya gaya. Ghar ki malkin ne mujhe ye makaan badi majboori mein diya tha. Unki maali haalat achchi nahi thi. Unki koi permanent aamdani nahi thi.  Pahle toh ghar ka kharch kheti-baadi se chalta tha. Par kuch saal pahle ghar maalik ne bank ka karz wapas na kar paane ki haalat main aatmhatya kar li thi.

 Ye south India mein aajkal aam baat hai. Har saal kai kisaan jab bank loan return nahi kar paate toh aatmhatya kar lete hain. Sarkaar bhi aankhe band kar ke baithi hai. Kisaano ki dayniy haalat hai. Par govt. kuch nahi kar rahi. Jis saal number of suicides badh jaate hain, us saal kuch kisaano ka loan maaf ho jata hai. Iske allawa koi sarkari madad nahi. Sthiti ko sudharne ke liye kaagazon par toh bahut kuch hota hai par zamini haqikat kuch aur hi hai.

Khair is ghar ki  haalat bhi kuch aisi hi hai. Mrs. Rao apne chaar bachchon ke saath rahti hai. Do ladke aur do ladkiyan. Sabse badi Madhavi jiski umr sirf 20 saal hai, fir 15 saal ka Vanshi, fir 12 saal ki Naglaxmi aur sabse chota 8 saal ka Sri Nivasa. Kheti–baadi aurat ke bas ki baat nahi isliye ye saara kaam unke devar dekhte hain. Aur badle main guzaare layak anaaj de jaate hain. Madhavi pados ke bachchon ko music aur dance seekhati hai. Uske badle jo aamdani hoti hai us se baaki bachchon ki padai hoti  hai.

Mrs. Rao ados-pados ke kapde silti hain. Aur khali samay main nariyal ke reshon se rassiyan banati hai. Ye aamdani ghar ke baaki kharchon ke allawa emergency main kaam aati hai. Mere unke ghar mein kiraaye par aane ki wajah se unki mushkilon se bhari zindagi mein kuch aaram aa gaya tha. Waise toh who log bahut achche they, par chah-kar bhi woh meri koi madad nahi kar paate they. Main unki Telugu bhasha nahi jaanta tha aur who meri hindi nahi jaante they. English mein bhi ghar mein sabhi ka haath tang tha. Thodi bahut hindi aur english Madhavi aur Vanshi jaante they, par woh jab available nahi hote they toh mujhe badi muskil hoti thi. Mrs. Rao toh zyada padhi-likhi nahi thi aur baaki dono bachche  abhi chote they.

Par dheere-dheere maine telugu seekhna shuru kar diya. Taaki mera kaam chal sake. Ismein bahut zyada kathinai nahi aai. Uss illake main telugu bolne waale logon ki bahutayat thi. Office main bhi mere colleague isi bhasha main baat karte they. So thoda-thoda main bhi seekhne laga tha. Jagah nayi thi isliye main apni aadat ke anusaar chutti hote hi ghar aa jaya karta tha. Shaam ke samay Madhavi bachchon ko classical dance sikhaya karti thi. Main aksar chhat par se usse dance seekhate hue dekha karta tha.

Bachchon ko dekh-dekh kar main bhi thode bahut steps seekh gaya tha. Akele main kabhi kabhi un steps ki practice bhi kiya karta tha. Ek din Madhavi ne mujhe dance karte hue dekh liya. Woh chupchap mujhe dekhti rahi fir achanak mujhe tokte hue boli, “ye step galat hai, isse aise nahi aise karo…  Toh chup-chup kar dance seekh rahe ho aur guru shayad main hi hoon. Fir nikalo guru dakshina.” Aur fir hansne lagi.  Fir boli, “agar dance achcha lagta hai toh seekhte kyon nahi?” Maine kaha, “sharm aati hai…  Khair samay mile toh tum hi seekha dena.”

Ab Madhavi aksar chhat par aane lagi aur kabhi-kabhi mujhe dance bhi sikhaane lagi. Iske badle mein, main use thodi bahut English aur hindi seekha diya karta tha. Issi beech ek din Madhavi ko pata chala ki main hafte ke saaton din khichdi khata hoon. Woh pahle toh dukhi hui fir usne apni maa se baat karke mujhe bhi khana apne saath khane ke liye kaha. Andha kya maange do nain, yahan toh chaar mil rahe they. Maine bhi jhat se haan kar di. Ab main unhi ke saath khana khane laga. Aur kirayedaar se paying guest ban gaya. Main khane ke liye unhe kuch paise alag se dene laga. Kabhi-kabhi rashan aur sabji bhi market se le aata tha.

Ab main ghar walon se kaafi achchi tarah se ghul mil gaya. Ghar ke chote-mote kaamo mein bhi haath batane laga. Khali samay mein bachchon ko padhane laga. Unke ghar mein ek jo mard ki kami thi woh thodi-thodi bharne lagi thi. Main bhi unke ghar ka ek sadasya ban gaya tha. Dheere-dheere samay beetne laga mujhe unke saath kariban chaar saal ho gaye. Vanshi 12^th pass kar chuka tha. Uska MBBS mein selection ho gaya tha. Lekin fees ke chalte admission nahi le pa raha tha.

Par mere zidd karne par Mrs. Rao ne Vanshi ko MBBS karne ke liye Bangalore bhej diya.  ‘Mere zidd karne par…’, haan in char saalon mein, maine is ghar mein woh jagah bana li thi ki ab main zidd kar sakta tha aur meri zidd maani bhi jaati thi. Darasal main iss pariwar mein kaafi ghul mil gaya tha. Ek baar ki baat hai, Mrs. Rao ki tabiyat kuch kharab ho gayi. Check up karane par pata chala ki unhe dil ki bimaari hai. Baat tab bigad gayi jab unhe pata chala ki unke devar ne unki saari zameen  dhoke se hadap li hai.

Ye jameen hi unke bure waqt ka sahara thi. Isse bechkar hi woh apni betiyon ki shaadi karna chahti thi. Devar ke iss dokhe ko woh bardasht nahi kar paai aur unhe heart attack aa gaya. Unhe hospital mein bharti karwaya gaya. Doctor ne by-pass ki salah di. Kariban 2.5 se 3 lakhs ka kharcha tha.  Saara parivar toot gaya. Bachche saare din bhar rote rahte they. Woh apne pita ko kho chuke they ab apni maa ko nahi khona chahte they. Par woh asahaay they. Madhavi apne chacha ke paas gayi gidgidaai par unhone koi madad nahi ki. Unke iss dukh ko mujhse zyada kaun samajh sakta tha. Main apne parivaar ko kho chuka tha.

Maine bagair kisi ko bataaye hospital mein saare paise jama kara diye. Mrs. Rao ka operation theek thaak ho gaya. Doctor ne unhe precautions lene ke liye kaha aur fir kuch dino ke baad unhe discharge kar diya.  Mrs. Rao ke bahut poochne par Doctor ne unhe bata diya ki paise maine diye hain. Us din shaam ko Mrs. Rao ne mujhe bulakar poocha ki maine paise kyon diye. Mera unse kya rishta hai. Aur woh mera itna bada karz kaise chukayengi. Maine unhe bataya ki main apna parivaar kho chuka hun, aur ek anaath ki zindagi jee  raha hoon.

“Itni badi duniya main baigair kisi apne ke jeena kitna mushkil hota hai, main achchi tarah jaanta hoon. Bhagwaan ne mujhe doosra pariwar diya hai aur aap ko khokar main iss doosre parivaar ko bhi nahi khona chahta.” Itna kahte hi mere aansu nikal aaye. Mujhe dekh kar ghar ke sab log rone lage. Mrs. Rao ne mujhe gale laga liya aur boli aaj se mere chaar nahi paanch bachche hain. Tabse main us ghar ka ek sadasya ban gaya.  Aur mujhe bhi zidd karne ka adhikaar mil gaya.

Iske baad ek din woh bhi aaya jisne mujhe pareshaan kar diya. Madhavi 24 saal ki ho gayi thi. Ek din uske liye ek rishta aaya. Ladka bank mein kaam karta tha. Mrs. Rao ne mujhe bulaya aur bataya ki Madhavi ke liye rishta aaya hai. Ladka bank mein kaam karta hai aur hamaari jaat ka hai. Khaate peete ghar ka hai aur bagair dahej ke Madhavi se shaadi karna chahta hai. Bhala is se achcha rishta hamen kahan milega. Woh saamne se khud chalkar ye rishta maangne aaye hain. Agar yahan Madhavi ki shaadi ho jaati hain toh Madhavi ke bhag khul jaayenge.

“Aur fir mujh vidhwa ki liye is se badkar kya baat ho sakti hai ki woh log bagair kisi dahej ke meri beti se shaadi karne ke liye tayyar hain. Bolo beta tumhaari kya salaah hai. Agar tumhe thik lagta hai toh tum Madhavi se baat karo.”  Mere muh se ek bhi shabd nahi nikla. Main chupchap unki baat suntaa raha. Aur ant mein “jaisa aap chahe…” kahkar chala aaya.

Madhavi ki shaadi ke baat sunkar mujhe pata nahi khushi nahi ho rahi thi. Ek ajeeb si bechaini hone lagi mera dam ghutne laga, aise lag raha tha jaise saans nahi liya ja raha hai. Main daudkar chhat par chala gaya taaki khuli hawa mein saans le sakun, par kuch fayda nahi hua. Kuch der mein Madhavi bhi chhat par aa gayi aur boli maa kah rahi thi ki tumhe mujhse kuch baat karni hai. Darasal Madhavi ne maa ki saari baaten sun li thi. Lekin fir bhi woh mujh se kuch sunana chahti thi.

Maine bagair uski taraf dekhe use jhidak diya. “Abhi mujhe kuch nahi kahna, mujhe pareshan mat karo.” Madhavi chali gayi aur main apne aap ko tatolta raha ki mujhe kyon Madhavi ke rishte se khushi nahi ho rahi.  Agle din Madhavi ne mujhse kaha ki maa kah rahi thi ki mere liye ek rishta aaya hai. Mujhe kya karna chahiye?  Maine kaha ki ab tum koi bachchi nahi ho badi ho chuki ho ye tumhaari zindagi hai, iska faisla tumhe lena hai, isliye iss faisle ko tum khud lo. Madhavi boli, “ye toh theek hai par ye itna bada faisla hai ki dar lag raha hai, main galat decision bhi toh le sakti hoon. Isliye tumhaari rai lena chahti hoon.”

Maine kaha, “Mrs. Rao ek heart patient hain, tumhe unki khushi ka khayal rakhna chahiye.”

Madhavi boli, “kya tum iss rishte se khush ho?”

Main gusse se bola, “ab meri khushi ki baat kahan se aa gayi.”

“Lekin main jaanana chahti hoon.”

“Haan mujhe khushi hogi, bahut khushi hogi.” 

Main gusse se bahar chala gaya. Madhavi bhi rote-rote apne kamre mein chali gayi.

Mrs. Rao ne rishte ke liye haan kar di. Sagai ka din pakka ho gaya. Pahle navraatri ko mangni aur dashmi ko shaadi. Ghar main shaadi ki tayyariyan hone lagi. Ghar mein rang rogan, kapdo ki shopping aur gahno ki khariddaari hone lagi. Halaanki ladke waalon ne dahej ke liye mana kiya tha, par fir bhi ek maa apni beti ki shaadi ki tyari uske janam se hi kar deti hai aur fir thoda bahut toh loklaaj aur lok dikhave ke liye bhi karna padta hai.  

Mrs. Rao ne bhi kaafi kuch jod rakha tha. Bas zaroorat thi usko ek naya roop dene ki. Jaise-jaise din nazdeek aane lage Madhavi ka chehra murjhane laga. Woh jab bhi akeli hoti rone lagti. Har samay khilkhilane wali Madhavi gumsum rahne lagi. Ab woh mujh se nazrein churaane lagi. Idhar main bhi chid-chida ho gaya. Ghar mein toh normal rahne ki koshish karta, jhoothi hansi hansta, par office mein baat-baat par jhagad padta. Har baat par gussa ho jata. Dheere-dheere mujhe iss baat ka ehsaas ho gaya ki main Madhavi se pyar karta hoon.

Aur isiliye main uske rishte ki baat ko sah nahi pa raha hoon. Usko kho dene ke dar se dukhi rahta hoon. Par main majboor hoon kuch kar nahi sakta. Mrs. Rao ek heart patient hain agar unhe iss baat ka pata chala toh woh iss baat par kaise react karengi. Mere baare mein kya sochengi.  Kahin woh iss baat ko jhel nahi paai aur unhe phir se attact aa gaya toh. Fir main unki caste ka bhi toh nahi hoon.

Mujhe kahin na kahin iss baat ka viswas tha ki Madhavi bhi mujhe chahti hai.  Par woh mera faisla sun na chahti hai. Woh ek ladki hai, woh apne dil ki baat zubaan par nahi la sakti. Fir maine aaj tak use kuch kaha bhi nahi hai ki main uske baare mein kuch feel karta bhi hoon ya nahi. Shaadi ke din nazdeek dekh kar Vanshi bhi kuch din pahle ghar aa gaya.  Vanshi ab kaafi bada ho chuka tha aur sab kuch samajhne laga tha. Usse ghar ka mahaul kuch badla-badla sa laga.

Main aur Madavi sabke saamne toh khush rahne ka dhong karte par akele mein dhukhi ho jaate. Vanshi ne iss baat ko  bhaanp liya. Mrs. Rao bhi ghar ke iss badle hue mahaul ko notice kar rahi thi. Fir ek maa se apne bachchon ka dukh nahi chupta, woh sabkuch samajh leti hai. Ek din usne shaam ko sabko bulaaya. Maine aaj Madhavi ke rishte ke liye mana kar diya. Main aur Madhavi Mrs. Rao ko hairaani se dekhne lage. Woh boli maine uske liye ek doosra ladka dekh liya hai, pahle waale se bhi achcha. Madhavi fir se pareshaan ho gayi aur main dukhi.

Itne main Mrs. Rao ne Vanshi ko kaha, “Vanshi nikalo toh” aur vanshi ne apni jeb se ek anguthi nikali aur mere ore badhaate hue bola, “pahnao jijaji didi ko anguthi.”  Vanshi ke in shabdon ko sunkar mere hosh udd gaye. Vanshi ne mujhe chutki kaati aur bola, “kya hua, ladki pasand nahi hai kya?” Maine kaha, “nahi nahi, aisi baat nahi hai” aur jaldi se Vanshi ke haath se anguthi lee aur Madhavi ko pahna dee.  Sab hamein dekh kar hansne lagey. Maine aur Madhavi ne maa ke paair chu kar aashirwad liya. Main aur Madhavi dono ek doosre ko dekh rahe they, hum dono ki aankhon mein aanshu they. Hum dono ko akela chodkar sab kamre se baahar nikal gaye.

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